What are my truths?

 It is about time I cleared several things up about myself, and as a reminder to myself. Here are 10 truths:

1-      My name is Thomas. I am Beloved of God, before all else.

2-      I am a Father of 2 grown men, whom I love dearly and I believed that love is reciprocated. They have taught me more about being a man than I could ever have imagined.

3-      I am a Husband to 2 beautiful women who are the air in my lungs and the beat of my heart. I would gladly give my life for either.

4-      I am a Christian Priest. I serve an Independent Catholic Community and I strive to serve my God as such.

5-      I am an ordained interfaith minister, finding the Divine in all people and all things.

6-      I love to walk with people in their spiritual journeys; it is an absolute joy and thrill for me!

7-      I am an alcoholic and addict in recovery. I cannot use mind altering substances (beyond caffeine) in a safe manner.

8-      I have suffered with MDD (major depressive disorder) and other mental issues for most of my life; each day is a challenge.

9-      I identify as part of the fabled Alphabet Mafia; I fall under “Q” for “Queer/Questioning”.

10-   I struggle with the same apparent contradictions that you see as you read this list.

I’m not sure but I do not believe I have ever put ALL of these things together in one writing. But anyhoo; these are all major facets of who I am. Thank you for coming to my TOM Talk ;)

 

Enemy of God

“Make no mistake: your sins make you an enemy of God.”

I read this blurb in a Catholic book of devotions dedicated to overcoming “sins of impurity”; pornography, chronic masturbation, etc.  It is set up in the spirit of 12-step self-help. After beautiful language about the all-forgiving nature of God and the help Mother Mary can give in this struggle, this sentence jumps off the page.

Let’s be clear; obsessive porn use and masturbation that interferes with actual relationships, employment, and responsibilities IS indeed a problem that needs to be worked through. Hell, you could even call it a sin if that language works for you.

Enemy of God…

The devotionals go on to blame it all on Satan, the terrible guilt we all must feel when we “fall” and the necessity of “being right with God” lest we die in a state of mortal sin.  The all-loving, all-forgiving God apparently has no issue letting His children suffer for all eternity if they do not feel enough sufficient sorrow and apologize in JUST the proper manner and formula (via sacramental confession). Does this sound all loving or all forgiving? This sounds trite, petty, and cruel. At least to me. And it is not any God or Jesus that I personally understand or would give my service unto.

Not that I believe sacramental confession is a bad thing, not at all! If we have done wrong, the confessional brings us the mercy of God in the form of a loving brother/sister. Sometimes we need the face of another to bring us peace and absolution for the things we have done wrong. And we ALL do things wrong. But to suggest that we, as Beloved Children of God, could ever make an enemy of God, just doesn’t ring true in the light of Christ.

At least not to me.

God love you!

Reclaiming "Christian"

I have issues with the word “Christian”.

It is a loaded word, worn like a crown by evangelicals and fundamentalists. It’s used as almost a caste system identifier by the aforementioned groups. Here in the US, Christianity is synonymous (particularly to minority groups) with nationalism, homophobia, racism, antisemitism, islamophobia, sexism, and proud anti-intellectualism. Christianity is a weapon, and carefully hewn chapters and verses out of its Bible and creed are its ammunition.

Love the sinner, hate the sin.

Your lifestyle is an abomination.

I will pray for you.

If you are not saved, you are damned to the eternal lake of fire.

Christianity has become a loathsome parody of itself. Because a portion of its vitriol (love?) had been leveled at the Catholic Church over the years – Catholics are not considered Christians by some sects- I always felt secure in my parish and beliefs that I did not fall into the caste system.

After leaving the Roman Church I accepted an uncomfortable truth.

Many Catholics are just as vitriolic as evangelicals on many topics, particular LGBTQ+ and sexism. The Knights of Columbus (of which I was a member years ago) has lobbied with evangelicals and in many cases provided the lion’s share of financing efforts to deny LGBTQ+ folks the right to legally marry. Believing Catholics are just as “family values” oriented as the most conservative evangelical groups. “Family values” being code for intolerant homophobic families where the women know their place.

But what is a “Christian”, really?

A Christian is a follower of the teachings of Christ. Simple. 

What did Christ teach? What was His message?

His message was to love. 

“Love the Lord with all of your heart and with all of your soul and with all of your mind. This is the greatest commandment. The second is like it, you shall love your neighbor as yourself” – Matthew 22:38-39

Love God. Love your neighbor. Love yourself. There are no qualifiers, no worthiness test for this love, no loving this neighbor but not that neighbor. We are to love. Jesus loved radically, giving his life for his friends.

In His Resurrection, Jesus "forever ruptured everything that human beings understand about life and death." *

Perhaps it is time that the word Christian is reclaimed by the followers of Christ who follow his radical teaching to Love… without qualifiers. Christians who don’t stop to wonder is a person deserves or is worthy of love.

Because we all are.

I am a Christian.

Still going to take some getting used to…

* quoted from QUEER VIRTUE by Reverend Elizabeth M. Edman, paraphrasing Right Reverend Jeffrey D. Lee

Knowing what God wants of me.

That's a scary feeling. It's certainly scary thing to write.  Without going into much detail, the table is set before me. I am to serve. I am to comfort. I am to walk with those who feel broken. And anyone else who comes along; I no longer have the luxury of choosing whom to serve. 

Lord God, I am Your priest, Your hands in the world. Let me do nothing apart from Your will. 

Love,

Thomas