Sermon: Sunday after Ascension, Seventh Sunday of Easter

I had a whole different sermon planned out; Jesus encouraging His disciples during the Ascension farewell discourse and promising them their Advocate, the Holy Spirit to continue to guide them. Maybe I would go on about it in a vague way. But my God, do we need an Advocate NOW in a concrete way.

19 children, murdered. 2 teachers, murdered. 17 more wounded.

These were 4^th grade children. CHILDREN between 8 and 10 years old. With families and friends and toys and baseball bats and Xboxes and Barbie dolls and favorite colors and favorite games and hopes and dreams. Terrified, screaming, snuffed out, one by one, with their heroic teachers doing everything they could to get themselves between the bullets and their kids.

Where, God, is our Advocate, we rightfully wonder in these situations??? Our Church celebrates her Pentecostal Birthday in only a week’s time, but the Holy Spirit seems so far away doesn’t She? It is so tempting to bathe in the relative safety of a progressive state like New York, to the point of numbness. Texas is so far away. Hell, even Buffalo – the PREVIOUS week’s mass shooting – is on the other side of the state. It can happen anywhere, though can’t it? How many elementary schools, middle schools, high schools, colleges and churches are here on Long Island? Hundreds upon hundreds.

It can happen anywhere – back in 1993, my father was in the same car with Colin Ferguson, the Long Island Railroad gunman. It was December 7^th 1993, my mom’s 52^nd birthday. He caught the 5:33 out of Penn Station as usual. Dad got off at the New Hyde Park Station, as usual. And the shooting began when as the train pulled out of the station. Dad was late coming home because he stopped by the florist to pick up roses for mom. By the time he arrived home 20 minutes late, our household was in a frenzy; Mom already saw what was happening on the news and knew it had happened on Dad’s regular train. We were all imagining the horrific worst… and then dad walked in the door, roses in hand, wondering what all the fuss was about. When he saw the news; he realized he had been sitting only a few seats from Colin Ferguson. God smiled on dad that day.

But not on others. Six were killed and nineteen were wounded on that train.

WHY does this happen? Why this school and not that one? Why THESE kids and not those? Why those other commuters and not my Dad? It’s senseless, isn’t it?  Where is God???

Years ago I asked my old spiritual director, Father Jim, a crusty ancient Irish priest, about the location of God during these horrible times such as these. At that time and in that spiritual counseling session specifically, I was wrestling with being a victim of serial childhood assault – I don’t remember how it came up. I remember being in session with Fr. Jim and crying, angrily asking him, “Where the hell was GOD when I was being assaulted???” Jim breathed in deep and said “He was being assaulted with you, Tom. God is with us. ALWAYS Emmanuel. Our Passion our trials our crosses are HIS. Fully God and FULLY HUMAN. God goes through everything with us. ALL OF IT.”   It sounded horrific when he said that to me 15 years ago. And I don’t much like to think about it now, in all honestly.

But….let’s together think on it a moment.

Emmanuel. God with us.

We are the hands and feet and head and heart of the Living God. The Advocate, the Paraclete, the Holy Spirit dwells right here in this gathering, right here in each one of us and in all of us together. There is Hope to be found in that knowledge, even if our anger and sadness and fear cloud that knowledge for a while.

By all means, LET’S BE ANGRY.

We’ve all heard of righteous anger –the senseless murder of 2 classrooms worth of 4^th grade children and their teachers cry out for that anger.

 AND we all must grieve – this was a horrific and preventable act. 

And we are human beings; we are allowed to be afraid. This past week I was speaking with a man I have been friends with since childhood – we spent the tail end of grammar school and all of high school together; we were the weird bullied kids. First ones on our block to get our ears pierced, listen to heavy metal and punk rock music and play in a band together. He was best man at my wedding in 1996, and we have remained close since, though we see each other far too seldom. He and his wife adopted a little girl 6 years ago; she is truly a model in the making, an old time beauty with the heart of an angel. Being a father has made my friend an even better man than he was before; I have never seen parents more in love with their child. After the shooting I spoke to him and his wife this week to check in on them – even here in NY they are terrified to send their girl to school. What is it’s the last kiss? The last goodbye? His wife posted that she said cheerfully the day after the shooting that “I think today is gonna be a great day, Mommy!”, and felt a sinking feeling I think is reserved for parents panicking about the safety of their kids. I’d feel the same if I had to send my boys to school under similar circumstances when they were younger. My friends are atheists – and they gladly accepted my prayers for their daughter and their family.

So we can be angry and sad and fearful. But Pentecost is coming. And so is the Holy Spirit.

Let us turn our anger into Justice – we need to remember to stay or get involved in the civil process, contact our elected representatives, write “letters to the editor” or elsewhere, demonstrate as we are able, and open our mouths to decry the injustice for all to hear. We need to ask hard questions like; what roles did the gun debate, mental illness, high school bullying, and systematic racism play in placing those automatic weapons into the hands of Salvador Ramos and a tactical vest around his body last Tuesday morning?

 Let us turn our grief into consolation – notice those around you who may have been affected in a profound way by this and similar events. Be the presence of Love to them, however they need you to be. Call or email or text or visit them. Listen to them. Hold them. Cry with them. Sometimes simple presence is all that’s required to let light in. Even a little light. Even if it’s just for a moment. And above all, notice when YOU’RE being affected. Reach out to your beloveds. Practice self-care and self-healing. Remember that we’re never alone.

Above all - Let us turn our fear into Hope. It is easy to despair when we look at the state of our communities, big and small, particularly when seemingly unbearable tragedies like this occur. Never forget we are an Easter People, we are a community of Hope. Hope is our hallmark.  As Bishop Ken wrote in his address to this tragedy, we as Christians need to be a sign of the healing loving presence of the Divine in our prayers and actions toward all people.  

So let us be a sign of Hope. Live Emmanuel, God with us. WE ARE THE ADVOCATE. We are the Spirit’s hands and feet and head and heart. As the Living Breathing Body of Christ, let us not only merely offer our thoughts and prayers; the term has become a punchline, almost a verbal tic at this point from politicians who see the horror but are loathe to change it. Let us bring form and shape and LIFE to those prayers by being the Spirit of Love our world is so very thirsty for. Let us BE the prayer. Let us BE the change we wish to see in the world.

Our Lord Jesus has ascended and is now “working from home”.  Let us BE the Spirit that now dwells within us all.

Ordinary priesthood

I ignore the mundane everyday; I mean REALLY ignore it. The Celtic way of prayer that finds the sacred in the ordinary completely eludes me, although I thought that I had been following it all this time. No that’s not really correct; it doesn’t elude me. I have tried to elude the idea of accepting sacredness in ordinary life, not the other way around.  I look for high falootin’ Dr. Strange type magic, with enormous consequences against the Dark Dimension/ Satan/Whatever.

The only problem is that this isn’t a f**king comic book. This is the real world.

All these…decades… I have been trying to distinguish myself as unique and wondrous with all my delving into so many paths; from the Knights of Columbus, Hibernians, to Wicca to veganism and everything else. I needed those labels to “set me apart”. I’m totally missing the fact that my uniqueness and wondrousness is present and shining already. Right there in my everyday ordinary life is Thomas who is Beloved of God. I say this all the time to other people, how before anything they can imagine, they are God’s beloved child and how beautiful is THAT?

Somehow I have believed that doesn’t pertain to me. I must be the one that people flock to In order to receive blessing and wisdom. And blessing and wisdom is wonderful, and it is good that I impart that when I am able; I DO HAVE IT TO GIVE. The only thing is… I keep that very blessing and wisdom at arm’s length from myself.

I have run away from simply being Beloved of God and have gotten hung up on titles and vestments and delusions of grandeur. I’m an ordinary man with people who love me; there’s no title or affiliation that can make my life any more sacred than that. I have missed the point of being a Priest. Priesthood isn’t to wear special clothes or to perform rituals for their own sake, and it CERTAINLY isn’t to be “set apart”.

Priesthood is to realize how BLESSED every single person is who comes across our paths, pointing it out and proclaiming “ISN’T THAT AMAZING??? LET’S CELEBRATE THAT S**T!!!!

Thinking about Roe v Wade

I don’t like the idea of abortion. I never have. The fact that a brand new human DNA sequence that never existed before in the universe coming into existence at conception has always driven this dislike. Is it a human being worthy of protection under the law? Should it be illegal to terminate this being/potential being? If so, when does that protection begin? Are people guilty of murder for procuring an abortion? Is doctor who performs it guilty of murder? Is the person who drives them to the clinic an accessory to murder? I believed all these to be proper moral thought. And I have been a pro-life proponent in the past, advocating Cardinal Bernadin’s “seamless garment”/consistent life ethic; abortion being part of a tapestry of violence including war, the death penalty, torture, abject poverty, racism, etc.. I still believe these things.

But none of MY moral conundrum or ethical philosophizing matters.

I will never, ever be pregnant. 

I do not know what pregnant folks have to go through when they contemplate abortion:

Will my partner stand with me or leave me, whether I choose to abort or not?

Will my family/friends/community shun me?

Will I be able to stay in school?

Will I be able to get a job?

Will I be able to financially support this/another child?

What if the pregnancy is the result of rape, whether with an abusive partner or another attacker?

Will my pregnancy interfere with my current career?

How will pregnancy and/or birth affect my physical health, as opposed to abortion?

How will pregnancy and/or birth affect my mental health, as opposed to abortion?

Is this an ectopic pregnancy?

DO I WANT THIS PREGNANCY TO CONTINUE INSIDE MY BODY???

These and I am sure scores other life-altering questions are ones I will never be faced with, simply because I don’t have a uterus. It doesn’t matter a lick that I think I would “be there” for my partner through any/all of these scenarios; many don’t have that support. And as a white man in a fairly affluent area with access to many resources, it would be arrogant for me to address the misogynistic/racial/poverty implications many pregnant folks are forced to face, so I am not going to do that.

We as a species haven’t even learned to care for one another; the BORN people right in front of us that challenge us, irritate us, love us, enrage us. It is easy to advocate for the unborn; they make no demands on us, they cost us not a penny, they have no history face or name, and once they’re born, the job is done. On to the next pregnant person.  Where are these advocates once the unborn becomes the born? Where are the food programs, the education programs, the social programs, the job guarantees? Thoughts and Prayers…

That’s not pro-life.

That’s pro-birth.

I struggle with this. But I will never ever be pregnant. 

Sermon: Third Sunday of Easter

 
I love Simon Peter.

There are 2 options for the reading of today’s Gospel, one which ends at the 14^th verse at breakfast and the other which includes Jesus’s one on one conversation with Peter. Peter’s response to Jesus throughout the Gospels always hits close to home for me, so I chose the latter.

How eager and impulsive is Simon Peter when in the presence of his Master! We have heard this story before in the Gospels; He and the disciples has been out on the water fishing all night with no luck. Jesus appears on the shore and gives them instructions on where to place the nets… and as before, they are not able to pull the nets in the boat because they are so full. The beloved disciple recognizes Jesus, gives Peter a nudge… and then Peter does a most Peter-ly thing; jumps out of the boat to swim to him because he simply cannot get to Him fast enough (at least he didn’t try to walk on the water again!). They sit and have breakfast in a most familiar way recognizing their lord in the breaking of the bread.

Jesus then takes Simon Peter aside and asks if he loves Him. Then he asks again. And then again.  Three times, Simon Peter assents that he does indeed love Him – maybe getting a bit annoyed with his Master the 3^rd time. I have always seen this almost as a sacramental confession, a mirror, for the three times Peter denied Him during the Passion preparing him for his ministry as a leader of the fledgling Church. Imagine being Peter, swimming in a sea of confusion and emotion and guilt and pain the last few weeks. His Master whom he loved above all things was executed in a most exquisitely brutal fashion, partially because he didn’t stand up for Him. Now, impossibly and wonderfully, He is back. But now Jesus keeps asking whether he loves Him. Peter needed Jesus’s love and forgiveness at that moment as we all do when we fall away. As is stated in the Gospel, for Peter the distress is real!

What a different Peter we see in the first reading from Acts!

Peter and the apostles are brought before the Sanhedrin for preaching in the name of Jesus; we hear another echo of the Passion narrative back to Jesus being brought before Caiaphas. Then, Peter lingered behind the company of Temple guards who had taken Jesus, and stayed well outside of the Sanhedrin’s sight as he waited to see the fate of his Master. He was recognized as a follower of Jesus anyway, and fell away in fear. He fell three times. And we see in today’s gospel, Jesus lifts him up 3 times.

DO YOU LOVE ME, SIMON PETER? THEN FEED MY LAMBS.

DO YOU LOVE ME, SIMON PETER? THEN TEND MY SHEEP.

DO YOU LOVE ME, SIMON PETER? THEN FEED MY SHEEP.

Now we see Peter, in full sight of the Sanhedrin, steadfastly refusing their strict orders to stop teaching in the name of the Risen Jesus. “We obey God rather than men. God exalted Jesus and we are witness to these things. NO, we ain’t gonna stop.” The Sanhedrin releases him along with the rest of the Apostles, still demanding they cease and desist, though now toothless.  Instead of denying the Lordship of Christ directly in the face of persecution, Peter and the rest of the Apostles REJOICE in the opportunity to being found worthy to be His disciples.

How often are we in Peter and the Apostles’ place? As Christians in the modern world and specifically as Independent Catholic Christians, we can certainly face ridicule for our beliefs. We receive it sometimes from non-Christians and nonbelievers. In my own experience however, we receive it sharpest from other Christians; our own modern Sanhedrin. We don’t follow Christ the proper way, because we state the Eucharist is indeed valid via zoom. We don’t follow Christ the proper way because we ordain women to serve as deacons and priests. We don’t follow Christ the proper way, because we invite ALL to our Table and don’t turn away anyone who feels moved to approach it. We don’t follow Christ the proper way, because we welcome, worship with, and ordain LGBTQ+ folks.

In the words of our Brother Thomas Merton:

“Our job is to love others without stopping to inquire whether or not they are worthy. That is not our business and it is in fact, nobody’s business. What we are asked to do is love. And this love itself will render both us and our neighbors worthy.”

May we always follow the example of Simon Peter, diving off boats, and pledging to die in our love for Christ and each other. Yup we’re going to fall short in the practice of that, time and again. But Jesus will always pull us aside, ask for our love and exhort us to feed his sheep anyway. Once, twice, thrice, seventy times seventy.

Let us be as impulsive and eager as Simon Peter when it comes to following Christ. 

Let’s dive off some boats.

Acts 5:27-32, 40,41
Psalm 30:2,4-6,11-13
Revelation 5:11-14
John 21:1-19